An Instagram Week

An Instagram Week

So, I’m still on Instagram and still doing this 365 challenge—though I’m vehemently denying both that I’m doing it and that it’s an all-year-round challenge—when I’m taking and posting a photo a day on Instagram and then taking a week’s worth of snaps over to the blog because—well, I have no idea why. Here’s this week’s batch, if you can live with not knowing why I’m (not) doing this.

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5 March: See the question mark on the bin? This existentially inclined bin has no idea why it’s taking your crap.
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6 March: I went out and it was raining. End of story, if a story it was.
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7 March: I deeply regret this photo. It’s what is marketed as silky smooth tofu, but it looked like frozen sperm to me and tasted like—well, suffice to say that I threw it out, though I never throw food out.
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8 March: It was a sunny day. I haven’t seen the sun for so long that I struggled to figure out what that blazing light was about. I shot this through the bathroom window. The window glass is wrinkled like this so people can’t stare at me showering. 
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9 March: I went out and met potted flowers. They left me wondering who on earth would waste so much money on flowers that will promptly die anyway. Says a person who bought her cat potted grass for chewing.
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10 March: I maintain a colouring routine. Its purposes are mysterious because it’s neither useful nor relaxing. It’s just something I do.
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11 March: The flu/angina/cold I brought home from my trip to England is persistent as fuck. A week later, it’s not going anywhere. So here’s my current bestie, the tissue box.
Weekly Photo Challenge: Story Potential

Weekly Photo Challenge: Story Potential

In response to WP Weekly Photo Challenge: Story.

Not much of a photo, but a potential for story here. The story of the lost ball; or, the art of losing stuff.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
—Elizabeth Bishop

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Another Story

Weekly Photo Challenge: Another Story

In response to WP Weekly Photo Challenge: Story.

This may or may not make for a good story, probably not, not because I’m negativist but because you should shut up when fishing not to disturb the fish. So I hear, but I wouldn’t know, I get my fish in the supermarket.

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Story

Weekly Photo Challenge: Story

In response to WP Weekly Photo Challenge: Story.

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table.
—T. S. Eliot

So what’s the story here? I don’t know about the story in the above poem, except that the poet was crazy, as poets are prone to be, which is my professional opinion of a doctor of literature. I picked the poem as an epigraph because I really like the comparison of the sky to the operating table. So cute. And as sterile as the airport corridors in the below photo. I don’t know about the story of the photo either, but come on, there must be a plenty of stories in there! It’s an airport for fuck’s sake. There are always stories where there are people.

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What I do know is my story at this airport. It was the first of the gazillion circles of hell, as not imagined even by Dante, who had no imagination, which was my recent business trip. Everything that could possibly go wrong duly did, and my boss, who is a pathological optimist and liar, kept on saying We’re on a pleasure trip, it’s an adventure! First, a business trip is not a pleasure trip. Second, you only call a fuckup an adventure when you’re talking to a child whom you’re saving from a disaster and whom you don’t want to frighten. And why, yes, I’m a pathological negativist.

A Week in Instant Pictures

A Week in Instant Pictures

You know how I always say that I’ve been up to nothing? Well, this week I’ve been up to so much shit! Still, I somehow miraculously contrived to make it look like I’ve been nowhere and done nothing. See for yourself.

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Feb 26: Calm waters run deep? I think this sign is here in case someone drowns in a puddle of their own saliva and wishes to press charges. Because people are crazy.
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Feb 27: I’m all for balls, I love balls, but not served like this. This is just perverse.
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Feb 28: The hotel challenge starts. The goal is to find your room. For advanced players: find your room while drunk.
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March 1: The best memory from my business trip are the smoking lounges at airports. Heavenly.
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March 2: On departing from my hotel, I helped myself to some soap. Because I’m fucking poor and I need it more than the hotel.
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March 3: The inevitable post-travel angina/flu is here. I’m wearing all I have. Indoors.
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March 4: Still ill and can’t even…

 

What I’ve Been Up To on Instagram

What I’ve Been Up To on Instagram

As per usual, I haven’t been up to anything, which I duly documented on Instagram. If you’re interested in how you can document nothing, scroll down to see the thing which is nothing.

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Feb 19: I had my haircut and the hairdresser wrapped me in a burka. 
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Feb 20: You know you’re old when you start drinking decaf. The abomination.
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Feb 21: It’s Wednesday! It’s bin takeout day! My life is filled with exciting events. Not.
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Feb 22: I’m pleased the cat likes her play box but I wish I didn’t have bits of cardboard strewn all over the place.
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Feb 23: The cat is the best anyway.
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Feb 24: A different slant of light created by a water of glass just sitting there on the table.
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Feb 25: My business trip begins. More on that later. When I recover from the trauma.
Weekly Photo Challenge: Out of This World

Weekly Photo Challenge: Out of This World

In response to WP Weekly Photo Challenge: Out of This World.

I’m not a frequent traveller, less so a frequent flyer, so the night-lit landscape as seen from the plane on my recent enforced business trip was quite otherworldly to me. I mean, it is lovely, but I do hope to avoid travelling in the future, as it’s on the list of top things I hate the most.

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: A Face in the Crowd

Weekly Photo Challenge: A Face in the Crowd

In response to WP Weekly Photo Challenge: A Face in the Crowd.

The apparition of these faces in the crowd:
Petals on a wet, black bough.
—Ezra Pound

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A Week on Instagram, Where Nothing Happened

A Week on Instagram, Where Nothing Happened

I’m worried about myself. I sort of pledged to myself that I wouldn’t be doing any 365 challenge crap ever again but that’s exactly what I appear to be doing. Fortunately, there were no witnesses to my pledge, and dead men tell no lies the cat doesn’t talk. So here’s another week’s worth of a photo a day on my Instagram.

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12 Feb: Based on this post, it looks like I’ve been somewhere. But where the fuck? That much to my idea of taking a photo a day lest I forget. Instead, notice the cute yellow circle in the picture, perhaps the remainder of a manhole.
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13 Feb: I took a picture of my key collection. I’m not sure what all these are good for, presumably nothing. In fact, I only need a total of three keys. It’s not like I’m a key master.
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14 Feb: Scratch that. I totally am a key master. The post of the janitor comes bundled with a manual on what to do in case of fire (I haven’t read it yet—neither do I intend to) and with an array of keys. Make your pick.
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15 Feb: My cat hates me. Should I still have any doubts about this, she gave me this cold stare when I was going aww at her. Zip it up, human.
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16 Feb: Normal people go to a pub on Fridays, mental people colour mandalas. I recommend you stick to the pub.
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17 Feb: The highlight of the day was the flawless perfection which I achieved when bagging my groceries. That’s Tetris OCD-style. I doubt that there are many people who reach this level of professionalism in tetris for grown-ups.
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18 Feb: My life couldn’t possibly get better. I got a super cute case for my beloved phone, on which said phone thought it a great idea to start dying on me. Note to self: be aware that no phone lasts more than two years because that’s how the fucking things work these days.

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Sweet (Kitty)

Weekly Photo Challenge: Sweet (Kitty)

In response to WP Weekly Photo Challenge: Sweet.

Stating the obvious: my sweet kitty is a sweet kitty.

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