Stuff I Shot in the Park

My first awkward attempts at shooting in other mode than auto.

Greenery overkill

Spiky sun

Milky-water effect, maybe

Ducklings!

Meh, picturesque

Weirdly exposed, whatever

7 More Days, 7 More Instagram Snaps

I’m continuing in my non-challenge of taking and posting a non-photo on Instagram every day. I still haven’t figured out what I’m trying to achieve, but I have patience enough, so I’ll just wait and see what becomes. While we’re all waiting for me to figure out what I’m up to, here are seven more photos covering seven more days.

8 Jan: I’ve been fascinated with balls recently. Especially fluffy balls. And colourful balls. Bonus for soft balls. I must ask the ghost of Freud what that means.

9 Jan: Balls!! The cat got a new toy ball. She’s nonplussed. Never mind, I like to play with balls. And step on them in the dark because there are 10+ cat toys strategically placed around the flat. Ostensibly for the cat to play with, but, see above, she doesn’t care. So home decoration it is.

10 Jan: In case there was any doubt, I have a crotch. It’s hard to take a selfie when you don’t want to capture your face. So I figure the crotch is a pretty neutral subject. 

11 Jan: I made myself tea with slivovitz and, much to my alarm, discovered Apple product placement in the tea. They’re everywhere, trying to get me. But they won’t because I’m paranoid. Which doesn’t negate the fact that they’re after me.

12 Jan: This cute piece of graffiti says motherfuckers in the local language. I think it’s very cheerful and uplifting, though I didn’t confirm with the owner of this wall. 

13 Jan: I was playing around with JavaScript. I didn’t achieve anything, but it’s kind of nice to know that you can write a JS object, should your life depend on it one day. You know, like the day when the computers take over the world.

14 Jan: The cat is either incredibly stupid or incredibly bold because she attempted to join me in the shower.  Don’t even ask what I was doing with my phone in the shower. (I take it everywhere, so.)

 

7 Days, 7 Instagram Snaps

I’ve been diligently taking a photo a day since the beginning of the year. It’s not like I’m doing a 365 Project. I’ve completed two and abandoned one two thirds along the way. It’s rather that I have no idea what I’m doing and I keep on posting it on Instagram.

Scroll down to view the evidence and read my elaborate photo descriptions. Or don’t, I’m not telling you what to do. I would, but no one listens to me, so I won’t. Or will I? I have decision paralysis, so decide on my behalf. Problem solved. Or not.

1 January: Went to see fireworks. Was so foggy that I couldn’t see where I was going, not to mention the fireworks. The fog-amplified noise nearly gave me an epileptic attack. I’m not even epileptic.

2 January: I’m trying to read. That would be commendable, except it’s so boring I mostly just fiddle with the Kindle app, which has a Dic(k)tionary. I don’t know how I managed to graduate as a Literature Major.

3 January: I went to the post office but I can’t remember what I wanted there. That much to documenting my life so I could remember what the fuck I was up to. Probably nothing as per usual.

4 January: My new yoga mat arrived. I ordered it specifically because of the box, which is cat-sized. Kidding. Kind of. The cat however approves, and she’s the queen.

5 January: That was a bad idea. I okayed Windows Update and had to take a day off because my Windows couldn’t even. After crunching for half an hour, Windows presented me with this. You know what. FY.

6 January: I was asked to get drunk and send nudes. I did get drunk. Nothing said.

7 January: Got a hangover, couldn’t stand sharp light, used a candle. I can do candles. Anytime. Also, none of this is true. Maybe. You wouldn’t know.

Toning Down the False Cheer

I went out shooting for a bit today. There’s chronically nothing to shoot around. So I made do with the seasonal enhancements to the village square. I deliberately toned down the bright colours and cheeky glitter in some parts of the photos. To me, this is a more appropriate representation of the season than the false cheer that one is force-fed.

I perceive Christmas as the epitome of falsitude. Whether we view it as an originally pagan or as a Christian celebration, people who are neither ancient pagans nor Christians celebrate it nowadays. I find this extremely puzzling. What I associate most with the season, besides false cheer, is obligation and duty misrepresented as affection and love.

Also, there is seasonal anxiety, pressure, vague disappointment, gnawing aimlessness, deeply felt loneliness, fear of the new year, regrets about the old year, unfulfilment and all that is crap. Along these lines, here are my crappy photos.

Notice the building engravings

Chipped wooden blocks

Ominous sky

False cheer

Colourful bubble

Remembering Autumn (R.I.P.)

Autumn is dead. Here are mugshots for its tombstone. It was back in October when one could still go out without risking death of exposure. Oh well. One more reason not to go out.

All curled up

Wallpaper material?

Water is fascinating

Classic autumn

Looking up the trees again

Shiny yellow

Green Gallery

Remember that before the coming of this shitty slush, all was lush green? You don’t? Me neither. But I have pictures to prove it.

Green overkill

Some swamp

Too much filter

Cracked tree

The sky is blue. Duh.

Warrior (the tree)

Changing Seasons for November 2017

In response to Cardinal’s Changing Seasons challenge.

I thought I’d never go out in November. And I didn’t go out. I rode a bike. That was my third attempt at the bike after fifteen years. It went poorly, and I don’t get farther than two kilometres. Then I collapse, catching for breath and fending off a heart attack. Obviously, yoga doesn’t prepare you for aerobic activities.

I deeply regretted venturing out. I nearly killed myself. I’m suicidal, perfectly normal, but dying while biking isn’t my preferred way to go. I also had the bad idea of revisiting my childhood woods. Apparently, they’ve been abandoned ages ago, so I was drowning in swamps and fighting through wild vegetation. Next time I’ll bring my machete.

Except there will be no next time. Even if I’m alive to see December, I’m not fucking crazy enough to go bike riding in December. And since I live in the middle of nowhere with little to no public transport, and since I’m not a car owner, and since I hate walking (apart from everything else), I don’t think there will be an opportunity to shoot changing seasons. Maybe from the window. As I said in October, I’m not going out the next month.

That’s my bitter tears

Old and wrinkly and dead, like me

That’s when I ran out of ideas

You could tell this is near a nuclear plant

Windows wallpaper

Is it lichen? Does it eat trees?

Changing Seasons for October 2017

October is almost over, and so is the Changing Seasons challenge, and so are my dreams, hopes and desires. I’m kidding! I don’t remember ever having any. I do have photos though.

Changing Seasons for September 2017

Changing Seasons is (soon was) the best challenge ever. My enthusiasm about this photo challenge is no way comprised by the fact that I hardly ever took part in it. To enjoy it while it lasts, here are my photos for this year’s September, which I actually did bother to take specifically for this purpose. Otherwise, I’m rarely bothered to take photos, unless mobile ones, which aren’t real photos really.

Fearful symmetry

I made bokeh on auto!

I ❤ moss

Hobbits live here

Messed up editing

House facade detail

Swamp

Autumnscape

That’s a Lot of Leaves

I think I like leaves. I’m not sure but I probably do since I take so many pictures of them. What do you think?

Real roses

Dyed heather

Threesome

Silvery shit

Still green

Green no more