Part of WordPress’s writing course Finding Everyday Inspiration.
It’s challenging to take part in a challenge when you’ve already taken your challenged part in every challenge. In other words, I’ve already been challenged to everything. In other other words, I’ve already written about everything. This includes today’s stale prompt, which is, If we were having coffee. To exterminate any potential bacteria and fungus in the stale coffee prompt, I’ll be having slivovitz instead.
If we were having slivovitz, I’d be more annoying than usual but that wouldn’t matter because we’d be having slivovitz.
If we were having slivovitz, I’d be complaining about my shitty life and punctuate my rant with the assertion that I’m not complaining. (I am aware of the irony.)
If we were continuing having slivovitz, I’d request that you compliment my hairdo, make-up, glasses, apparel and also my being a badass smartass.
If we were still having slivovitz, I’d produce fifty most recent pictures of my cat and demand that you praise her.
If we were having more slivovitz, I’d recite by heart several poems in several languages only because I can.
If we were having our last slivovitz, I’d reminisce about the communists and cry because a democratic revolution interfered before I could become a pioneer (the communist version of girl scouts).
If we were having slivovitz, we wouldn’t have slivovitz again for a very long time.