I feel like blogging but nothing is happening. Everything and everyone seems to be dead in summer. I am dead too, but I feel dead anytime, so it doesn’t count. To enliven myself a little, I put together this post of completely random uneventful shit that has (not) been happening in the last few days.
Stationery
Just as this post lacks coherence and vision, so does my life and work. I’ve read some personal/professional growth books recently, however, I obviously don’t follow the advice. So yesterday I was thinking I’d start implementing some tools I’ve learned about and on impulse ventured out to buy a new notebook in which to sketch my vision, goals and other crap.
The notebook is pictured above. Sorry not sorry about the poor quality photo, my phone lens was filthy and my bloody but beloved cat wouldn’t stop headbutting me while I was trying to take the photo.
Do you think I did something and started to write in the notebook? Nope, obviously. Well, maybe later. At least I have a new notebook. I liked it in the shop but when I brought it home, I decided that it is super ugly and that I don’t know what I was thinking.
I also bought a set of colour fine liners. I’d like to use them but I wouldn’t like to use them unless for some proper, sensible and meaningful task. I’m a terrible case of decision paralysis.
The Cat
My cat is as ubiquitous as my decision paralysis. She appears to be at several places at once. She also stalks me when I move around the flat. Recently I noticed she only tends to sleep on the bed when I’m in the bed too. I was so touched for a while, thinking that she seeks out my company because she likes me. Then it occurred to me that the poor thing may like me or may just have a case of Stockholm syndrome. My own thoughts scare the shit out of me.
When you think of it, though, I keep the cat captive (let’s put aside that she’s the quintessential household cat and doesn’t go out to explore even when I leave the door open). I have no way to tell whether she hates life as much as I do or whether she’s alright or even generally content (let’s put aside that she appears content and relaxed). So, maybe she just got used to me and decided to like me instead of hating me because she’s clearly stuck with me for life.
My brain and blog are scary places.
Mara Eastern 
It sounds like your cat really loves you by following you around the flat. you write better stuff than I do Mara!
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Actually, after writing this, I decided I’d think positively and chose to believe that my cat likes me on her own accord 🙂 I mostly write crap, but knowing it doesn’t prevent me from writing it 😉
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Your writings are fine, and the cat loves you because you take care of her! ❤️
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Fine words 🙂
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Decision paralysis, what a wonderful term….I may borrow it at some point…..I think we all have days/weeks/years like that…when I think back on my life I think most of my married life was a case of decision paralysis, I knew what I SHOULD do but was too scared to make it happen.
I never had a cat but soon I think my son’s dog, Ted is coming to stay. He’s a small fluff ball dog and he and I know each other…..I think we may even tolerate one another…I’ll be keen to see what happens…
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Decision paralysis is an actual concept in psychology, I’m sort of an armchair psychologist… I got that a lot. And you’re clearly getting the concept, by the way you describe your own experience.
Enjoy your guest dog! I think he might grow on you, pets are like that 🙂
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Cats are cool, but they have a mind of their own. Possibly just as scary a place as yours 🙂
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Haha, that’s a good observation 🙂
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‘I feel dead anytime’ Haha! As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, this is how I feel a lot of the time. Sort of like you want to do something and be productive…but really just can’t be bothered so you don’t do anything. I am also like that when I buy things. Over the last few months, I bought quite a few new pieces of clothes and makeup. Then after a week I decided I didn’t want them. Of those I still had tags on, I returned to the shop and those and the others I sold online. I wasn’t angry about this…sometimes it’s just the weird in some of us.
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Depression and anxiety combo sucks. I know first-hand too. My experience is so similar to what you describe! This weird feeling of mental paralysis.
You solved the situation pretty well though, good you could return or resell the items you no longer wanted! With me, I mostly end up buying nothing, so I have one problem less… The notebook was inexpensive, so I can live with having bought it and not liking it then 🙂 All the more reasons to start writing in it!
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I’m a self help junkie. I can’t read enough of those books! That said, I implement very little of what I read. Most of the advice is stupid! There’s a new podcast out you might enjoy. It’s called, ” By the Book”. In it, two friends get together and follow a self help book to the letter for two weeks and document their journey. One of the two is a self help junkie, the other is a big time skeptic. I think you might enjoy the podcast. I suggest starting with the episode on “The Secret” or “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”.
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I read personal growth books rather than self-help books – I think there might be a small difference after all because most of the advice I’ve read makes perfect sense. It’s common sense, actually, but I don’t realise it until I read it.
Recently, I finished a book called End of Procrastination but the Czech mentor Petr Ludwig – it’s a huge hit here and was even translated into English. The book is based on careful research into psychology – complete with case studies and references to literature, which is something to please my academic self 🙂 This is actually the one book that I’m planning to implement for real.
I’ve bookmarked the podcast you recommend, I think I will like it for sure, since I used to be a huge sceptic myself before I fell for these books!
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Four cats. There is always a cat.
This was not planned. All four are strays that adopted us. I talk to cats more than people (this is not even an exaggeration).
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If it’s any comfort, I do more talking to the cat than to people too. And I only have one cat! (So far 😉 ). Cheers to your kittens!
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My brain is an endless dark hole sometimes…
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And no light at the end of the tunnel…
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No, because it’s just a dark hole. No tunnel…
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That’s very encouraging.
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You give her food … she likes you 🙂
I don’t read any of those books — neither self-help nor self-growth. Guess I’m a big sceptic to all that. I keep seeing all those inspirational quotes going by in FB. I read them, and they sound so good and right .. then I go on as usual again.
I have a number of notebooks and absolutely no clue what to write in them.
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Your reply amused me in a good way for no good reason – I think maybe it’s because of your clear reasoning, I feed the cat, hence she must like it 🙂 Simple and true, I guess!
I hate motivational quotes, they always piss me off (again, for no good reason); but self-growth books started to interest me after I went mad. Some bits of them are so interesting, like: “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” So bloody true for me.
Maybe you could start an anti-motivational quotes journal, since you have so many notebooks 😉 ?
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I have one quote I like: «This too shall pass». It isn’t a real quote but I like to remind myself at times.
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“This too shall pass” sounds like something one would come across at a cemetery. Or maybe I’m just morbid, which I am. I sometimes experiment with positive affirmations, but with varied success. It’s not so easy to rewire your brain to start doing the opposite of what it has been doing so far.
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I had a toothache for a few days, and kept thinking about it — that it would pass, one way or the other 😊
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“One way or the other”, well, that’s another encouraging thing to tell yourself 😀 But the toothache did pass, right?
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Yes, so far … almost. The jury’s still out …
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Poor thing. That’s one long toothache.
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I think cats are much less deep thinkers than their enigmatic expressions lead us to believe. If she didn’t like you, she’d just leave and find some granny who’d feed her fresh fish and cream all day. They don’t hang around for your sake, but for their own, so I think we can safely say she likes you! Fascinated by the Stockholm syndrome idea though I suspect a dog is much more likely to suffer from that – they often stick around when they’ve been mistreated.
Just wanted to say thanks for the follow and for introducing me to your rambling, wandering, interesting world 🙂
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Thank you for your commonsensical comment! Cat lovers, like me, probably don’t like to admit it, but it makes sense that cats aren’t necessarily as complicated as they pretend! On the other hand, my cat isn’t going anywhere, no matter her satisfaction or dissatisfaction, unless she learns to unlock and open doors. Dogs are just so completely different creatures with entirely different perks.
Thank you for stopping by and happy blogging!
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Happy blogging to you too, Mara 🙂
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