Though I’m owned by one cat only, I’ve recently noticed that I act like a full-time crazy cat woman. This is what I do with my cat on a daily basis:
- Asking the cat questions like I expect an answer (Did you miss me? What’s up? Have you finished eating? Are you being good? Have you been to the box? What are you seeing?)
- Telling the cat things while talking about myself in the third person and referring to myself as mummy (Mummy’s going out now but will be back soon. Of course that mummy loves you! Mummy’s going to eat now, but you eat at 7:30, ok?)
- Answering the cat’s random meows with Hush, kitty, mummy knows.
- Pulling faces at the cat while she is staring quietly and wonders if her human went nuts.
- Singing to the cat, in a terrible voice, improvised sing-songs featuring the cat (You’re my kitty, little kitty, favourite kitty, lalala…).
- Rolling on the floor and playing with cat toys because it’s beneath my cat to play with them and they’re just lying around.
- Being actually pleased as I struggle to get up and the cat has her face in my face, with her look saying, Get the fuck up and make yourself useful!
I know, I should get a life.