I apologise for another depressing depression post. I somehow can’t get it out of my head (quite literally). I’m trying to look at the bright side of darkness (which is oxymoronic, or just moronic) and while doing so, I discovered that depressed is the new drugged.
You get a plethora of altered consciousness experiences when you’re depressed. It’s like you’re constantly on drugs (which I am, literally; on four kinds of antidepressants, specifically). Unlike a drug habit, a depression habit is easy and cheap to maintain. Conveniently, you have an unlimited supply of substances that make you high (or rather low) lodged right in your brain.
My most favourite drugged-like state is when I’m going peacefully about my business, and suddenly I get a strong impression that my surroundings and people in them are unreal. It’s often accompanied by short-circuit thoughts based on the What if premise. Say, I’m in a supermarket, everything around me feels surreal, and I think, what if I poke the shopper next to me, slip an item from the shelf in my purse or set the place on fire?
Are you scared? Before you advise me to seek out medical advice, I assure you I am consulting my broken brain with specialists. I am told that short-circuit thoughts are normal in abnormal (as in depressed) people. Also, I haven’t actually poked anyone, stolen anything or burnt anything down (yet). Now, will you please excuse me, it’s time to pop my evening pills. For the next Christmas, I want a pill organiser (and a kitten).