As Writing 101 draws to its close, the staff is getting sentimental. They want us to describe the melodrama of a landlord evicting an old widow as seen by a twelve-year-old boy. Thanks, I’ll pass on this tear jerker. I’ll re-do this sad story into a grotesque story in the vein of Flannery O’Connor (whom I hate, but she has a point). This is a newspaper cutting from Nowhere News, an obscure regional paper.
NOWHERE – Yesterday a retired woman jumped out of the window to interrupt the work of debt collectors.
Ida Nobright (68) owes three months’ rent for her five-bedroom council flat. When authorised debt collectors required to be let in her flat, Mrs Nobright invited them in and “was ready to negotiate”. The debt collectors say Mrs Nobright suffered from “a hysterical seizure” when they informed her she must clear the flat immediately. The debt collectors claim they could not prevent Mrs Nobright from jumping out of the window of her flat because her action came unexpected and with “surprising agility”.
Mrs Nobright fell down from the third floor on the house’s common vegetable garden. She was transported to the nearest hospital in Somewhere with a broken leg, concussion and multiple scratches and bruises. The hospital representative says her life is “not in danger”.
There was a twelve-year-old eyewitness to Mrs Nobright’s fall, who testifies he heard a woman’s screams. When he looked in direction of the noise, he saw Mrs Nobright plunging herself “like Mary Poppins” out of a window. Police searches for further witnesses. No charges are pressed at the moment.
Mrs Nobright apparently lived in her flat alone since the death of her husband three months earlier. She has an extended family, including her six sons, who live in Faraway. Her son Jon Nobright (42) says he is “shocked” and he had “no idea mom was in trouble”. Mr Nobright has already contacted the town council of Nowhere and offered to settle his mother’s debts.